Information Centre

How to heal from narcissists


Turn2Me, a national mental health charity, has published three tips on how to heal from
narcissists. The charity stated that many people have dated, worked with or lived with
narcissists and can feel wounded from the experience. Turn2Me said not everyone can cut a
narcissist out of their lives completely, especially if they’re a boss or relative, but putting
boundaries in place can help.
Author Sandy Hotchkiss identified the “seven deadly sins of narcissists” as envy, arrogance,
exploitation, magical thinking, shamelessness, self-entitlement and bad boundaries.
The article ‘Signs of Narcissism? Reconsidering a Widely used Measure 1 ’ states, ‘The
psychological construct of narcissism consists of two elements: a grandiose self-view and
self-regulating strategies to uphold or inflate that view 2 . The narcissists’ grandiose self-view
refers to an agentic and inflated sense of their own capabilities, such as intelligence and
leadership ability 3 . To maintain and further bolster their exaggerated self-view, narcissists
swagger about their qualities, direct attention to the self 4 , and seek applause and
affirmation from outside 5 . They also show a need for power and to dominate other people 6 .’
Turn2Me’s three tips for healing from a narcissist are to establish boundaries, seek support,
and focus on self-care. The charity stated that people can Establish Boundaries by limiting
or cutting off contact with the narcissist to protect their emotional well-being. These strict
boundaries will prevent manipulation and help regain control over your life.
Turn2Me stated that Seeking Support is vital. This can be done by connecting with a
therapist or a support group can help you process your experiences and trauma.
Professional guidance can help you understand the impact of the narcissist’s behaviour and
develop healthy coping strategies.

1 Koch-Bayram et al. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1548051820950379
2 Morf & Rhodewalt, 2001
3 Gabriel et al., 1994; Judge et al., 2006
4 Buss & Chiodo, 1991
5 Morf & Rhodewalt, 2001; Wallace & Baumeister, 2002
6 Bradlee & Emmons, 1992; Carroll, 1987

The third tip is to Focus on Self-Care: Prioritise activities that nurture your physical,
emotional, and mental health. Engage in hobbies, exercise, and mindfulness practices to
rebuild your self-esteem and regain a sense of normalcy.
“This can be initially difficult, particularly if the narcissist used manipulation tactics that
foster co-dependency,” Fiona O’Malley, CEO of Turn2Me, said, “You never realise how
strong you are until you have to be. When you carve out a future without this negative
influence, it will be incredibly liberating. If anyone needs help when they’re healing from a
narcissist, please use the Turn2Me services. We offer up to six free counselling sessions and
unlimited free support groups, all on Turn2Me.ie.”