I am sure we have all heard about self-care. I know for myself, it’s a buzz word I hear a lot. There are hundreds of ways to engage in self-care, from reading a good book with a hot cup of tea to setting healthy boundaries. Even though, I know self-care is really impactful and helps me a lot, I also notice that sometimes it is messy. I often struggle to stay on top of my long to-do lists and the added pressure of self-care can be overwhelming at time. Once in a while, I catch myself thinking that taking the time for myself is selfish. But the truth is that self-care is not selfish!
So, what exactly is self-care? Self-care is engaging in activities that maintain wellness and promote holistic well-being. This means that self-care can give us a bit of space to stop and be kind to ourselves. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to self-care, in honestly what may feel like self-care to one person may be totally different to another! I know for myself, self-care changes based on the day. I think part of my self-care is doing a mini check in and asking what would help me today. For example, sometimes going for a cup of coffee is a way to slow down and connect, whereas other times the same coffee can make me feel anxious and overwhelmed.
Sometimes, taking time for ourselves and doing self-care can feel a bit selfish. I know I can sometimes feel guilty for looking after myself especially when I feel like I should be looking after someone else. However, the reality of the situation is that if I look after myself and take the time to really check in and nurture my mental wellbeing, I am much more present and can better support those around me. I feel as if I have put a mini reset button on myself and my relationships and knowing this, helps me realise and prioritise myself. It’s like the airplane analogy, put on your mask first before helping others. It’s not easy to do, but I can’t be a support to others if I am not well myself.
Of course, it’s a balance and it’s not always easy to take time for self-care. Usually, it means actively taking a moment so slow down. For some people, it’s unrealistic to do an act of self-care every day. That’s is okay! Not doing self-care all the time is something that we should try and be kind about. It is not always realistic, but maybe the goal could be to try when we can and to try, when we can, to make this a habit. There are some barriers to self-care, for me, it can be taking the time to do self-care alone. But over the years, I realised, I don’t have to do my self-care alone.
As I said, there are so many ways to partake in self-care. For some people, it’s easy to come up with activities, but maybe for others it can be harder. Here are some self-care activities that might just be something small that you can add into your life…
- Having a really hot bath with lots of bubbles
- This is a real treat for me especially when I am stressed! The hot water makes it feel like a hug and I love the smells of the bath soaps. I like to sit in there as long as possible.
- Listening to music when walking the dog
- I find when I walk and listen to music, I pay more attention to the lyrics. I can then slow down and hear what the musician is really singing about.
- Doing a breathing exercise
- My favourite breathing exercise is to put your hand out and trace your fingers. Breath in when you get to the top of one finger, and exhale when you go down your finger.
- Meeting a friend
- Sometimes meeting a friend can feel like a lot, especially if I feel overwhelmed. But sometimes, I find when I meet a friend and chat about the things that are going on, I am really looking after myself.
It’s is not always easy to engage in self-care. We can all put it off or dismiss our own needs. However, it is important to remember how important it is for us to look after ourselves. Looking after ourselves is not selfish, nor does it mean we don’t care about others. In fact, it’s often the opposite!