Imagine embarking on a journey you didn’t sign up for, without a map or even a decent playlist. One minute you’re cruising along feeling fabulous, the next you’re sweating through your blouse in a supermarket queue, crying at dog food adverts, and forgetting why you walked into the kitchen. Welcome to the adventure that is peri-menopause.
A Wild Ride Without the Seatbelt
Peri-menopause is like being dropped into a reality show where your hormones are the unruly castmates, and you’re both the star and the audience. It’s the transition phase before menopause when estrogen, progesterone, and their hormonal pals start behaving like they’re on a sugar high at a toddler’s birthday party.
Estrogen, once your steady sidekick, starts ghosting you. When it’s around, all is groovy. When it’s not—cue the hot flashes, mood swings, and that delightful rage that bubbles up over someone breathing too loudly (usually the other half). Progesterone, the peacekeeper, tries to organise things but clearly needs a new PA. And testosterone? The wildcard that might either boost your energy—or make you start rage-texting your partner because they left the dishes in the sink (again).
Emotions? More Like a Flash Mob of Feelings
One moment you’re Mary Poppins, the next you’re sobbing over a cereal box. (True story: I once had a breakdown in the cereal aisle, flooded by a wave of nostalgia for Saturday morning cartoons and a bowl of Kellogg’s Start.)
Mood swings, anxiety, irritability, and the occasional existential crisis become regular guests at your mental dinner table. And the worst part? You might not even recognise yourself some days. It’s like your emotional thermostat is broken—and your dog now flinches when you reach for the TV remote.
Mental Wellness Survival Kit:
- Move That Body: Exercise boosts your mood, even if it’s just dancing in your pyjamas to 90s hits. (Highly recommended.)
- Eat Real Food: Yes to leafy greens. Yes to chocolate. Balance is key. Think of your plate as self-care, not punishment.
- Phone a Friend: Vent. Laugh. Cry. Repeat. Girlfriends are your lifeboat on this hormonal ocean.
- Sleep Like It’s Your Job: Magnesium, melatonin, dark rooms, and saying no to “just one more episode.” Sleep deprivation is literally torture.
- Mindfulness, Not Mind-Full: Even five minutes of breathing can rewire the chaos. Calm minds help tame wild hormones.
Body Changes: The Gift That Keeps on Giving
Just when you think you’ve got the hang of your body—boom! It changes the rules again.
- Hot Flashes: Like someone turned on an invisible blowtorch inside your chest. Best enjoyed in public with no fan nearby.
- Night Sweats: The nocturnal version. Wake up drenched, flip the pillow, question all your life choices.
- Weight Gain: Especially around the tummy. Your 25-year-old jeans might need to retire gracefully. Think strength, not size. Hello weights and resistance bands!
- Skin and Hair Drama: Dry skin meets teenage acne. Thinning hair that gives up halfway through styling. It’s a glow-up… just not the one you imagined.
- Libido on Holiday: It might go MIA. Or it might show up unexpectedly like an old friend. It’s inconsistent, like your WiFi.
Self-Care Strategies That Actually Help:
- Hydrate or Deteriorate: Drink water like it’s your job.
- Eat Like You Love Yourself: Food is fuel, not the enemy.
- Move That Booty: Whether it’s yoga, walking, or chasing your dog who’s stolen your bra again, keep moving.
- Skincare is Self-care: Slather, mist, moisturise. You deserve the glow, even if it’s a fake one.
- Dress for the Sweat You Want: Layers, breathable fabrics, and always—always—have a fan or repurposed menu to hand.
Grace, Grit, and Giggles
Yes, peri-menopause is challenging. But it’s also a time to reconnect with yourself, redefine beauty and strength, and laugh until you cry (or cry until you laugh, both are valid). Share the madness with your sisters, laugh at the chaos, and remember—you’re not alone.
Peri-menopause isn’t a crisis. It’s a rebirth, a rite of passage, and frankly, a comedy show if you choose to see it that way. So buckle up, pack snacks, and bring your sense of humour. You’re on a wild but worthy ride.
And for heaven’s sake—invest in a good antiperspirant, waterproof mascara, and a portable fan. You’re going to need all three.