I find it kind of strange how, on the first of January, so many people all over the world vow to make a change. It happens every year like clockwork: someone will ask ‘So what is your New Year’s Resolution?’ There is a huge focus on doing something different. I guess sometimes change is needed, and January is an exciting time to hit the refresh button. However, I also think there is massive pressure associated with resolutions. When we don’t meet our resolutions or encounter a setback, it can trigger a range of harsh thoughts. Sometimes our once lighthearted goals carry a lot of weight.
Every year, I make goals. These are often about radical change and the reinvention of myself. For example, in 2025, I wanted to run a few times a week (for context, I am not a runner), prioritize sleep, and figure out what I want for the future. At the time, I thought these goals would be achievable, and I would feel incredibly proud when I met them. At the time, I also created a vision board, thinking that this would make me more committed. In all fairness, I started the year strong; I was running and reflecting, but life got in the way. I got busy. When I was reminded of my vision board, which I had put proudly on my fridge, I felt a sense of shame. I felt as if I was not good enough. Later in the year, I returned to my goals and, in fairness to myself, I ran a little bit and had made some progress. However, I felt as if I was not in the same mental space as the person who wrote those goals back in January. Part of me was committed to being that person again who started the year with a sense of eagerness and naivety. But the bigger part of me knew that I was working towards something that no longer served me or was what I genuinely wanted.
Thinking back on that time now, I still feel those harsh thoughts. I think about what I did not meet or do, rather than the small things I did. I now must remind myself that January 2025 was a busy time and there were a lot of things in my personal life that I had to prioritize. I had to find the motivation to keep going in my daily life, let alone finding the mental space to meet my goals. I am sure that for some people, vision boards and New Year’s resolutions work, but for me, they really don’t. I know I will have to take the time to be kind to myself and to remind myself that it’s okay.
The significance of starting a year shouldn’t hold the weight of failure or vast improvement. Maybe the change of the calendar year can be more about reflection and seeing that, despite everything going on last year, we survived. I hope one day I can look back on 2025 with a sense of accomplishment. It was a really challenging and mentally draining year for me, but despite all the hardships, I was able to progress slowly, and sometimes passively. No matter what happens in my life, I am always learning. Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, but even through the darkest times, I was able to persevere and that is a huge achievement. Arguably a bigger achievement than any resolution. Saying this, I do have one or two things that I hope to happen in 2026. I think without the label of a resolution, it feels easier for me to work towards these. I want to try to stop and take time for myself when life gets busy. I want to try and repair some of the pain that occurred in 2025 and, hopefully, with a lot of hard work, maybe it will be 202Fix.
Sophie Thomson